Joshua is such a joy! Every day I look at him and wonder what I did to deserve such a baby! Joe and I were so scared when we found out we were accidentally pregnant (he was an accident, not a mistake) ;)
Now, I wonder what my life was like before him. I wake up each morning to the sound of him, babbling away as he stands in his crib. I heat up his bottle and bring him into my bedroom to eat it. We play around for a while on the bed, wrestling and giggling, and then get up for the day. I am so full of love for him! It almost worries me, how can I possibly feel this way for another baby? Will our next children be somehow deprived of love because he's so special? Crazy, I know ... but I worry about it!
I also feel guilty that I get to stay home with Josh all day. I know, I'm tte Mommy and that is still typically her right and choice. But, what did Joe do to deserve leaving the house every day to go to work? He comes home sometimes and looks physically sad that he had to be away from us all day. Life is not fair (but I'll still enjoy my Mommy benefits!)
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My Boys
Joshua (18 months) & James (1 week)
2 comments:
no, you're not a throwback, it's called obeying your natural instincts. all mama's should have the privelege of staying home with their babies.
i believe that you will love future babies in different but equally huge ways, because each is a unique gift...that we mothers, if we choose, get to unwrap each and every day. I am going to call it the huge bonus we get for all the overtime we put in, to re-discover our child every day!!
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