A Doula

Joe and I hired a Doula today, to help in our labour and delivery. Matushka Sarah is the wife of one of the priests at our church (Father Justin) and is also a mother of 3 children (her youngest is less than 2 months old). I had never thought of hiring a Doula or, in fact, having anyone in the room besides Joe but after my experiences with the nurses when having Joshua, and hearing the birth stories of women who have used a Doula (specifically, Amy with Matushka Sarah), I couldn't say no.

Many people have asked me what a Doula does in the delievery room so here is an excerpt from Matushka Sarah's blog ...

The Purpose and Value of Labour Support

For most women, giving birth is a pivotal and life changing experience. It can affect, for better or for worse, how the mother feels about her baby, how well they bond, and even the mother’s relationships with her partner and other children. The medical community is recognizing how much the mother’s state of mind can affect the efficiency of labour and is returning to a more natural environment and labour practices, as well as continuing to provide all the miracles and safety of modern medicine. This helps birthing mothers to feel more relaxed, reassured, and in control of their birthing experience.

A doula provides emotional and physical support as well as information to the birthing mother and her partner before and during labour. Having that kind of support usually means a substantial advantage toward achieving better birthing experiences. A doula’s goal is to help the family, through this support, to have as satisfying a birth as possible, regardless of whether they want a natural labour, a painless one, or a c-section. In some cases this means helping them adjust to a labour that does not go as they hoped due to medical emergencies.

A doula provides the mother and her partner with information so they understand what is taking place, which allays fears and enables them to work with the mother’s body and the medical professionals. This information provides them with more choices and more confidence in making decisions regarding those choices. A doula can provide the couple with useful questions and productive ways of approaching concerns with their care providers, facilitating a smooth interaction with hospital staff, if that is an issue.

A doula takes care of the mother emotionally and psychologically during labour by assuring her she is doing well, making her feel cared for, important, and miraculous. She can, in many ways, labour right along with her, conducting and directing her energy and pain. She can assure and direct the partner, giving him confidence in his ability to be helpful which in turn is comforting for the mother to have a calm and confident partner.

A doula can provide physical comfort to help cope with pain, as well as suggestions for positions and techniques that can encourage efficient labour. She can direct the partner in ways he can physically support the birthing mother, which enables him to be an even better support than he might have been without the doula present.

Women who have had a doula usually express much more satisfaction with their labours, even if they’ve had interventions they did not anticipate. They more readily speak of their labours as a wonderful and memorable moment in their lives, a special, intimate, and joyful experience with their partner. Many find healing and closure for previous disappointing labours. The partners express immense gratitude for the doula and sometimes surprise at how much difference the doula’s support has made.

Statistics in studies carried out by medical professionals such Kennel and Klaus (as detailed in the DONA Position Paper and Klaus, “Maternal Assistance and Support in Labor”) demonstrate that having a doula-supported labour significantly decreases the length of labour, the incidence of medical complication, and the amount of medication and medical intervention needed during labour, including c-sections, epidural anesthesia, and forceps or vacuum delivery. Doula support also improves the effectiveness of medication when it is used. Studies also show improved postpartum outcomes in areas such as healing, bonding, and breastfeeding.

The doula’s responsibility during labour is strictly one of support. She does not make any medical decisions, perform clinical tasks, offer second opinions or medical advice, or speak on behalf of the mother. She does not push her own goals on the labouring woman, but supports the labouring woman’s desires for her birth. The doula’s role is a unique and important one that does not take the place of the partner, the nurses or the health-care provider. In fact, the doula’s support of the mother helps all of these individuals to fulfill their own roles and responsibilities during labour in the best possible way.

*SHUDDER*

I have mentioned to Joe on more than one occasion that if he ever decided to grow a mustache I'd have to leave him ... the other day he came out of the bathroom, after a shave, looking like this. My bags are packed! :P

Another Joe Update

Joe saw his doctor today and the numbness in his hands and neck is due to a degenerative condition in his spine which is compressing the vertebrae and pinching the nerves. There is nothing that can be done for him. The pain in his back is caused by arthritis ... at the age of 26! He is not taking the news very well and I'm worried about him.

Joe Update

Joe has still been experiencing the numbness in his neck and hands so I decided to call his doctor again yesterday for an update. It had been 3 weeks since his x-rays and we hadn't heard anything so I assumed nothing was found on them but wanted to know what the next step would be.

When I called, the receptionist told me they don't call if everything is normal (I know) and then, when I said I needed to know what was happening next, she suggested she'd just check out the x-ray. It turns out his doctor was away when they came back and another doctor looked at them. They show a narrowing of the spine (whatever that means) and she booked an appointment for Joe to go in to see his doctor "as soon as possible".

My problem with this office is that now they not only misdiagnosed his bicep tear for 3 MONTHS last year but they also did not follow up on a matter that seems to be important, judging by the receptionist's demeanor on the phone. I need to find him a new doctor!!

House Renovations

I haven't been posting lately because Joe and I have been so busy with the house renovations. Since last Friday we have ripped up all the carpet in the living room, hallway and office and installed laminate floors. We also painted these rooms and ordered the new linoleum for the kitchen. I started painting the kitchen as well but figured it's probably better to wait until after we've pulled off the base boards to go any further. The new floors and walls look amazing. It'll look better once we get the trim and base boards back up but I'm happy with the work we accomplished in the last week. Joe says that when we do the upstairs we're hiring someone to install the floors for us, though *L*. He really did an amazing job for someone who has never done renovations before. I am SO proud of him! We've hired professionals to do the linoleum in the kitchen. It seems cheaper in the long run than having Joe take more time off work and attempt another new project. Hopefully we will be almost done the renovations by the time the baby arrives! :)

33 Week Appointment

I had my 33 week doctor appointment this morning and everything is going great. My blood pressure and weight gain were normal and the baby's heartbeat is 155. It was by far the quickest appointment I've ever had at their office ... 5 minutes total. The baby's head is down but is still quite high which, this far from my due date, I think is a good thing. :)

33 Weeks

I am 33 weeks pregnant and feeling *BLAH*. The baby is getting bigger and putting so much pressure on my pelvis that I can sometimes hardly walk. 7 more weeks to go?!? How is that possible? My quick shopping trip to Superstore today turned into 2 hours of slowly shuffling my way up and down the aisles *L*. It was definitely a good thing that my Mom and Rick were watching Joshua! :)

I have also developed what I can only assume is third trimester morning sickness (has anyone heard of this before?) ... we even had to leave church last Sunday because I couldn't make it through to the end. I guess it's true what they say, every pregnancy is different! (Even though up until now it's been fairly similar to Joshua, even in the way the baby moves and where it kicks me the most.

Joe's Dad thinks thie baby is a girl because apparently Athina was sick with Becky in the last trimester but not so with 3 of the 4 boys. Hmmm ... I still think it's probably a boy but we'll have to wait and see ...

On the plus side, I am enjoying my time with Joshua so much lately. Sometimes I need to lay down in the middle of the day so I lay on the couch and he climbs all over me ... playing and laughing. And he is back to playing nicely by himself for a few hours each day. For the past two months he has been sick and has needed constant attention. It got so exhausting! But he is back to his loveable, independent little self. I LOVE THIS LITTLE BOY SO MUCH! It actually makes me sad to think that I'll be losing my one-on-one play and cuddle time with the little monkey so soon. But I guess he'll be getting a new sibling to play with so I can't be too sad for us.

The house renovations were stalled for a while but Joe and I bought some new laminate flooring today for out living room, hallway and office. We now have less than 7 weeks to install it and neither of us know what we're doing. *EEK* We also need to get the walls painted and replace the linoleum in the kitchen (just because it's ugly). When you come over in 6 months and we're all still living on exposed concrete, you'll know why! *L*

Joe's Health

Joe has been having some trouble with his hands since last January. They are tingly and numb a lot of the time. He has an appointment with a neurologist but they are booking 9 months in advance (thus, his appointment is not until the end of January). We were hoping the problem was a pinched nerve (though we have absolutely no medical information to back that claim) because it might be fairly easy to correct (again, I don't know if pinched nerves are, in fact, easy to fix). Yesterday, though, some tingling and numbness started at the base of his neck and by last night it was spreading down to the middle of his back. I am really scared of what this could be ...

He sees his doctor this afternoon but neither of us have a lot of faith in his doctor after the misdiagnosis on his arm last year.

Please pray for him.