A Doula

Joe and I hired a Doula today, to help in our labour and delivery. Matushka Sarah is the wife of one of the priests at our church (Father Justin) and is also a mother of 3 children (her youngest is less than 2 months old). I had never thought of hiring a Doula or, in fact, having anyone in the room besides Joe but after my experiences with the nurses when having Joshua, and hearing the birth stories of women who have used a Doula (specifically, Amy with Matushka Sarah), I couldn't say no.

Many people have asked me what a Doula does in the delievery room so here is an excerpt from Matushka Sarah's blog ...

The Purpose and Value of Labour Support

For most women, giving birth is a pivotal and life changing experience. It can affect, for better or for worse, how the mother feels about her baby, how well they bond, and even the mother’s relationships with her partner and other children. The medical community is recognizing how much the mother’s state of mind can affect the efficiency of labour and is returning to a more natural environment and labour practices, as well as continuing to provide all the miracles and safety of modern medicine. This helps birthing mothers to feel more relaxed, reassured, and in control of their birthing experience.

A doula provides emotional and physical support as well as information to the birthing mother and her partner before and during labour. Having that kind of support usually means a substantial advantage toward achieving better birthing experiences. A doula’s goal is to help the family, through this support, to have as satisfying a birth as possible, regardless of whether they want a natural labour, a painless one, or a c-section. In some cases this means helping them adjust to a labour that does not go as they hoped due to medical emergencies.

A doula provides the mother and her partner with information so they understand what is taking place, which allays fears and enables them to work with the mother’s body and the medical professionals. This information provides them with more choices and more confidence in making decisions regarding those choices. A doula can provide the couple with useful questions and productive ways of approaching concerns with their care providers, facilitating a smooth interaction with hospital staff, if that is an issue.

A doula takes care of the mother emotionally and psychologically during labour by assuring her she is doing well, making her feel cared for, important, and miraculous. She can, in many ways, labour right along with her, conducting and directing her energy and pain. She can assure and direct the partner, giving him confidence in his ability to be helpful which in turn is comforting for the mother to have a calm and confident partner.

A doula can provide physical comfort to help cope with pain, as well as suggestions for positions and techniques that can encourage efficient labour. She can direct the partner in ways he can physically support the birthing mother, which enables him to be an even better support than he might have been without the doula present.

Women who have had a doula usually express much more satisfaction with their labours, even if they’ve had interventions they did not anticipate. They more readily speak of their labours as a wonderful and memorable moment in their lives, a special, intimate, and joyful experience with their partner. Many find healing and closure for previous disappointing labours. The partners express immense gratitude for the doula and sometimes surprise at how much difference the doula’s support has made.

Statistics in studies carried out by medical professionals such Kennel and Klaus (as detailed in the DONA Position Paper and Klaus, “Maternal Assistance and Support in Labor”) demonstrate that having a doula-supported labour significantly decreases the length of labour, the incidence of medical complication, and the amount of medication and medical intervention needed during labour, including c-sections, epidural anesthesia, and forceps or vacuum delivery. Doula support also improves the effectiveness of medication when it is used. Studies also show improved postpartum outcomes in areas such as healing, bonding, and breastfeeding.

The doula’s responsibility during labour is strictly one of support. She does not make any medical decisions, perform clinical tasks, offer second opinions or medical advice, or speak on behalf of the mother. She does not push her own goals on the labouring woman, but supports the labouring woman’s desires for her birth. The doula’s role is a unique and important one that does not take the place of the partner, the nurses or the health-care provider. In fact, the doula’s support of the mother helps all of these individuals to fulfill their own roles and responsibilities during labour in the best possible way.

*SHUDDER*

I have mentioned to Joe on more than one occasion that if he ever decided to grow a mustache I'd have to leave him ... the other day he came out of the bathroom, after a shave, looking like this. My bags are packed! :P

Another Joe Update

Joe saw his doctor today and the numbness in his hands and neck is due to a degenerative condition in his spine which is compressing the vertebrae and pinching the nerves. There is nothing that can be done for him. The pain in his back is caused by arthritis ... at the age of 26! He is not taking the news very well and I'm worried about him.

Joe Update

Joe has still been experiencing the numbness in his neck and hands so I decided to call his doctor again yesterday for an update. It had been 3 weeks since his x-rays and we hadn't heard anything so I assumed nothing was found on them but wanted to know what the next step would be.

When I called, the receptionist told me they don't call if everything is normal (I know) and then, when I said I needed to know what was happening next, she suggested she'd just check out the x-ray. It turns out his doctor was away when they came back and another doctor looked at them. They show a narrowing of the spine (whatever that means) and she booked an appointment for Joe to go in to see his doctor "as soon as possible".

My problem with this office is that now they not only misdiagnosed his bicep tear for 3 MONTHS last year but they also did not follow up on a matter that seems to be important, judging by the receptionist's demeanor on the phone. I need to find him a new doctor!!

House Renovations

I haven't been posting lately because Joe and I have been so busy with the house renovations. Since last Friday we have ripped up all the carpet in the living room, hallway and office and installed laminate floors. We also painted these rooms and ordered the new linoleum for the kitchen. I started painting the kitchen as well but figured it's probably better to wait until after we've pulled off the base boards to go any further. The new floors and walls look amazing. It'll look better once we get the trim and base boards back up but I'm happy with the work we accomplished in the last week. Joe says that when we do the upstairs we're hiring someone to install the floors for us, though *L*. He really did an amazing job for someone who has never done renovations before. I am SO proud of him! We've hired professionals to do the linoleum in the kitchen. It seems cheaper in the long run than having Joe take more time off work and attempt another new project. Hopefully we will be almost done the renovations by the time the baby arrives! :)

33 Week Appointment

I had my 33 week doctor appointment this morning and everything is going great. My blood pressure and weight gain were normal and the baby's heartbeat is 155. It was by far the quickest appointment I've ever had at their office ... 5 minutes total. The baby's head is down but is still quite high which, this far from my due date, I think is a good thing. :)

33 Weeks

I am 33 weeks pregnant and feeling *BLAH*. The baby is getting bigger and putting so much pressure on my pelvis that I can sometimes hardly walk. 7 more weeks to go?!? How is that possible? My quick shopping trip to Superstore today turned into 2 hours of slowly shuffling my way up and down the aisles *L*. It was definitely a good thing that my Mom and Rick were watching Joshua! :)

I have also developed what I can only assume is third trimester morning sickness (has anyone heard of this before?) ... we even had to leave church last Sunday because I couldn't make it through to the end. I guess it's true what they say, every pregnancy is different! (Even though up until now it's been fairly similar to Joshua, even in the way the baby moves and where it kicks me the most.

Joe's Dad thinks thie baby is a girl because apparently Athina was sick with Becky in the last trimester but not so with 3 of the 4 boys. Hmmm ... I still think it's probably a boy but we'll have to wait and see ...

On the plus side, I am enjoying my time with Joshua so much lately. Sometimes I need to lay down in the middle of the day so I lay on the couch and he climbs all over me ... playing and laughing. And he is back to playing nicely by himself for a few hours each day. For the past two months he has been sick and has needed constant attention. It got so exhausting! But he is back to his loveable, independent little self. I LOVE THIS LITTLE BOY SO MUCH! It actually makes me sad to think that I'll be losing my one-on-one play and cuddle time with the little monkey so soon. But I guess he'll be getting a new sibling to play with so I can't be too sad for us.

The house renovations were stalled for a while but Joe and I bought some new laminate flooring today for out living room, hallway and office. We now have less than 7 weeks to install it and neither of us know what we're doing. *EEK* We also need to get the walls painted and replace the linoleum in the kitchen (just because it's ugly). When you come over in 6 months and we're all still living on exposed concrete, you'll know why! *L*

Joe's Health

Joe has been having some trouble with his hands since last January. They are tingly and numb a lot of the time. He has an appointment with a neurologist but they are booking 9 months in advance (thus, his appointment is not until the end of January). We were hoping the problem was a pinched nerve (though we have absolutely no medical information to back that claim) because it might be fairly easy to correct (again, I don't know if pinched nerves are, in fact, easy to fix). Yesterday, though, some tingling and numbness started at the base of his neck and by last night it was spreading down to the middle of his back. I am really scared of what this could be ...

He sees his doctor this afternoon but neither of us have a lot of faith in his doctor after the misdiagnosis on his arm last year.

Please pray for him.

31 Week Doctor Visit

I had my 31 week appointment with Dr. Shaw today (one of my obstetricians). She is so nice!

She answered a few questions that I had. Apparently, if I have more than 4 contractions in an hour again I have to go to the hospital because at this stage in my pregnancy they would be concerned about premature delivery (I've been having fairly painful contractions every day for almost 2 weeks). Otherwise, she's happy with my weight gain and the baby's development.

The baby's heart rate was only 130 beats per minute this time, usually it's been around 150. Joshua's was always between 150 and 170. Hmmm ... could it be a girl?!?

Also, when she was measuring the fundal height (the distance from the pubic bone to the top of the baby) she looked shocked and kept checking her chart and then re-measuring my belly. It turns out I'm measuring a few weeks bigger than I should be (I'm measuring just over 34 weeks at 31 weeks). Then I asked her what I measured with Joshua and it turns out we were the same. She said, again, that Joe and I just make big babies. *L*

So, our little guy/girl is actually closer to 5 lbs. (No wonder I feel so huge!) :)

31 Weeks Today!

Well, I don't know about you but I've never seen a 3.5 lb, 18'' long Barbie doll! :P

The Baby at 30 weeks ...

This is not our exact baby ... in case you didn't notice, it's a drawing! :P

Baby Stats

Baby #2 is now over 16 inches long and weighs around 3 pounds. We have less than 11 weeks to go until we meet him or her!! (Hopefully, anyway!) ;)

Christmas Gift Dilemma

Joe and I never know what to get his parents, brothers and sister for Christmas (or birthdays either, for that matter!). I find it really easy to shop for my sister and parents but his family is an enigma to me. Last year we got them tickets to a Giants hockey game and we all went together and while it went over alright, it was not the amazing gift we all want to give to our families at Christmastime, you know?

So, this year we are throwing around the idea of buying them a swimming pool. Joe thinks this is a good plan but I'm worried that giving one gift to 7 people (who will all definitely live at home for at least another 3 years) is kind of weird ... Plus, what if not everyone wants to have a pool? His sister and one brother would love it, I'm sure; but there are 4 kids, ranging in age from 19 to 25 and I don't know if this gift might be a little too young for them. And will his Mom like it as much as his Dad?!? Oh, the dilemma ...

Apparently they talked about getting a pool a few years ago but for some reason never got one. Hmmm ... what should we do? The pool would be similar to this one but it is a little bit better in that is has steel sides, not plastic.

(I realize no one knows them very well, and certainly not better than Joe and I, but any advice would be very much appreciated).

New Baby Cook!

Congratulations to one of my best friends, Cheryl, and her husband, Corey, on the birth of their first child, Devon Riley James Cook, on August 30 at 6:31 pm! The little guy weighed in at 5 lbs 15 oz and has A LOT of dark hair (under the hat). Cheryl and I have been best friends for 15 years and I could not be more excited for her! He is such a tiny little guy. :)

Baby Weight

I just found out that by this point in my pregnancy (beginning of the third trimester) I should have gained about 17-24 lbs. I am actually just back to the weight I was when we found out we were pregnant in March. (I lost a lot of weight in the first 4 months of pregnancy).

I know, you're not supposed to worry about gaining weight when you're pregnant as it's a natural occurrence and is necessary for the healthy growth and development of the fetus but I was overweight in March! I gained a whopping 50 lbs with Joshua and it did not entirely come off in those first 9 months following his birth (before I became pregnant with #2). So, to me, this lack of weight gain is a wonderful thing! (I am still at a more-than-healthy weight, believe me!)

In fact, my doctor told me at my last appointment that if I continue like this and have 3 more kids, I can be 110 lbs by the time we're done! (I realize that at almost 5'11'' that's just not possible ... but a girl can dream, can't she?!?) ;)

Another Hospital Visit

Grrr ... I was back in the hospital on Wednesday afternoon with another migraine headache. They kept me in maternity triage for 5 hours monitoring the baby and giving me pain medication, even though I told them that the baby was fine, it was just my head that hurt! :P

It has only been 3 weeks since my last migraine and already another one?!? (My second one ever). I hope this baby comes early (like, safely at 36 weeks) because I can't handle much more of this!

In better news, the baby seems to be healthy and growing quickly! (It is very active already -- similar to how Joshua was in utero -- where I can't even go a few hours without it waking me up with a good, solid kick!) ;)

Double Strollers

Does anyone have any advice on double strollers? Since Joshua and the new baby will be about 18 months apart I have been researching and pricing double strollers, but it seems they are not only very expensive but also come with mixed reviews.

We're leaning towards getting the Graco Duo-Glide Metropolitan stroller and car seat as there seem to be more good reviews than bad about this particular brand and model but I was wondering if anyone had any ideas or opinions on this matter?!?

Please help!!

What a Day

I spent the afternoon at my friend Cheryl's house, planning her baby shower, with my sister Stephanie, for this Saturday. They did the baking before I got there and then we planned the decorations and started on the party favours. After a few hours, Joshua was ready to come home so we left Cheryl's house and he quickly ran off down the street, after my sister. I finally caught him to put him in the car but he was fairly upset at being in captivity and kept whining incessantly. So, as I was belting Joshua into his car seat, I handed him my car keys to calm him down. They worked so well that I figured, why not let him hang onto them as I got in the front seat and then grab them once we were ready to take off. Unfortunately, I didn't notice that he had hit the keyless entry remote on the keys and all the doors were locked.

Thus started 30 minutes of Joshua and I crying in unison as he was trapped in the HOT car and I waited on the outside for the tow truck driver to arrive, feeling like the worst mother in the world. It was by far the fastest BCAA call I have ever experienced as they were there in no time and were very quick in getting the doors unlocked, however, I am still traumatized by the experience. Joshua seemed to be over it as soon as I put him in the bath and got him clean and dry. Now, though, I feel like a horrible and neglectful mother ... what kind of person locks their baby in the car?!? It is definitely time to get a spare key made up! (One that Joe doesn't take with him to work in Aldergrove).

Tim McGraw and Faith Hill, HERE WE COME!

And we're almost off! :)

Our last girls' road trip starts tomorrow! Stephanie, Jen and I will leave Wednesday morning for 3 days in the USA. Thursday night we will atend the Tim McGraw and Faith Hill Soul II Soul 2 Tour at Key Arena in Seattle and, other than that, we will mainly sight-see and shop. :)

Jen moves to Manitoba in September to attend a Christian University so this is supposed to be our 'farewell tour'. :P

We started our roadtrips in 2001 with a trip to George, WA for a Tim McGraw concert at the Gorge, a week-long trip to the Merritt Mountain Music Festival, and a week camping in Osoyoos. 2002 brought the beginning of our annual trips (with Deanne) to stay at a hostel in Kelowna. Those trips ended when, in 2005, Jen made a trip of her own to Nicaragua to volunteer in an orphanage for the summer. Last year, Steph and I had to keep the tradition alive by taking a trip to stay in Osoyoos for a few days with 3 month old Joshua -- that was definitely different than our trips with the girls! ;)

So, this year will probably be our last for a while ... unless Jen can get away when she comes home in the summers and I can escape the growing family for a few days next year! *crosses fingers*

Yesterday

Yesterday was an interesting day.

Joe and I had plans for a dinner/football game date night but, once he finished work, it turned into a 'rush to the game and get there just as it started' kind of date. It was still very nice, though. The BC Lions won against the Edmonton Eskimos, 34-17. We then came home (where my parents and Steph had already put Joshua to bed in his own room ... I love this set-up!).

I was starting to get a small headache as we got home but that's a normal pregnancy thing for me so I just ignored it. Then, however, at about 2 am I awoke with the worst headache I have ever had and couldn't get comfortable, was too dizzy to walk and kept vomitting from the pain. I took countless pills of tylenol before I realized I couldn't keep them down long enough for them to work and so decided to call the BC Nurse's Help Line for assistance.

When I explained what was happening to the nurse on duty last night she demanded that I call 911 immediately. This completely freaked me out since she told me I couldn't even have Joe drive me to the hospital but needed to be taken by an ambulance on a stretcher. So, I called 911 and made the decision to have Joe drive me anyway mainly because I didn't want to get a bill for an ambulance ride when he was home and, thanks again to Steph and my parents living nearby, able to leave Joshua sleeping in order to take me to the hospital. The rest of my story is pretty disgusting from here on out so I will just say that my headache was a migraine (I have a complete new respect for people who suffer from migraines ... I always just thought they were really bad headaches), which caused almost constant vomitting and then the vomitting caused contractions. By early this morning I had been admitted to the maternity ward at MSA Hospital and repeatedly pumped full of copious amounts of Morphine, Gravol and another anti-nauseau medications that I can't pronounce. :P

I am now discharged and home with the lingering remains of a headache (as the Morphine is wearing off), getting ready to have some friends over for a barbecue. I probably should have cancelled and stayed in bed but then what kind of a friend would I be?!? ;)

The moral of my story ... don't ever get a migraine (as if you could help it)!!